I do not feel real. There is a disconnect between my body, which does not feel good, and my mind, which does not feel good. It is six in the morning. I am listening to Chopin’s Nocturnes; I am beginning to be not unhappy, but capable of realizing happiness will come. My body feels as if […]
kidney cancer
The danger of “living wills”–a post surgical analysis
Of all my many preparations for surgery–including signing up for Premium Spotify [worth it]–creating a valid Living Will exercised far too much time. I can and may list the valid rationale for having a Living Will, which here in Pennsylvania is called officially a Durable Power of Attorney. Durable means (as lovers of the English […]
Cancer Surgery Whirlwind
August first through 18th The surgery was successful. Dr. Paul Russo removed the cancerous tumor that surrounded my right kidney. The removal kept the tumor intact so it did not spread cancer. About a third of my right kidney was removed because it had been damaged by the tumor. This process, called a partial nephrectomy, […]
Art as cancer therapy
I guess this all starts at the Morgan Museum and Library, Renzo Piano‘s 2006 major expansion, his first commissioned work in New York City. This is a good time to refer you to: http://www.e-architect.co.uk/ published daily from Scotland by Adrian Welch and Isabelle Lomholt (who is a beauty). The site receives 960,000 hits a day–a lot more hits […]
Getting to my kidney operation on August 8th—Part 1
Getting out of bed (and eventually into an automobile) To travel the 257 miles from State College, PA to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (known to New Yorkers as Memorial) less than two blocks from the East River in New York City, I have to get out of bed. What follows is a photographic recreation […]
My personal experience with cancer—Cancer III, II, I
New York, New York, Saturday, April 13, 2013: My third cancer is new. It did not present itself as a suspicious sign the way the lump (tumor) did under my right arm leading to a diagnosis of Hodgkin’s disease followed by major surgery and two rounds of radiation treatment when I was 28 years old. […]
Who I used to be
The provinces of his body revolted,/ The squares of his mind were empty, / Silence invaded the suburbs, / The current of his feeling failed: he became his admirers. -W.H. Auden April, 2013 “Who did you used to be?” a technician asked me while drawing my blood at the Mount Nittany Medical Center, State College, PA. […]