In the novel 1984, George Orwell’s “protagonist Winston Smith works at a propaganda department for the state, called the ‘Ministry of Truth,’ where inconvenient news can be discarded down a ‘memory hole.’” When I married, I married for love. “People marry for a variety of reasons and with varying results. But to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy, ” wrote James Branch Cabell.
Tragedy by definition is painful. One way to avoid the pain is to avoid the memory. During and after each of my two marriages, I knew the woman quite well. I had lived with Vicki for six and a half years and Diana for over twenty. Who were these significant others and how did they affect my life?
Having studied Talmud during childhood and the Congress of the United States intently from 1974 to 1990, I have decided to tell myself (and thus the “printed word”) what I told the government (at least in the first iteration) when I completed my first security clearance form in 1978. In 1978, the form’s purpose was to make it possible for me to read CIA reports (which I was surprised to learn were well-written).
Now, six months away from my 70th birthday, I feel impelled to commit myself to full disclosure. Reality compels me to admit that fullness is not achieved all at once, but at dribs and drabs. Here is the first round of partial disclosure (to be followed perhaps by more complete disclosure–don’t touch this dial.
My first wife
My first wife was Vicki Ruth Cohen. We married in Rockville, Connecticut in the summer of 1969.
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Second wife
My second wife was Diana Marie Bass. We married in Alexandria, Virginia in the fall of 1981.
Thirty minutes before the Party begins at the patio of the Weathervane at Chapel Hill's famous Southern Seasons
Mazeltov: Welcome to My Hegira.
Webster’s defines hegira as:
“A journey esp. when undertaken to escape from a dangerous or undesirable situation.”
Cosmic Invitation
How else to feel other than I am, often thinking Flash Gordon soap– O how terrible it must be for a young man seated before a family and the family thinking We never saw him before! He wants our Mary Lou! After tea and homemade cookies they ask What do you do for a living? Should I tell them? Would they like me then? Say All right get married, we’re losing a daughter but we’re gaining a son– And should I then ask Where’s the bathroom?
Note to Beatnik Music fans: Tom Connolly, my drumming teacher, has recorded a bongo drum track which will be added to the following recording. Listen here now at this link:
The Event has concluded, but the Party is not over.
Thirty minutes before the Party begins at the patio of the Weathervane at Chapel Hill‘s famous Southern Seasons
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It is 6:06 in the morning.
I am back at my apartment in State College PA after the return from the Blessed Event at the patio of the elegant Weathervane Restaurant in Chapel Hill and spending time with Joanna, Amelia and Jade [a lot of time with Joanna Amelia and Jade] and with David Hiscoe, my former boss at Northern Telecom where I worked at Research Triangle Park for four years as a senior technical writer.
[I have never been a junior technical writer or a simple run-of-the-mill technical writer; there is grade inflation in the technical writer world where however young and inexperienced, I have always been a Senior Technical writer.]
Of course, there is the description of THE PARTY.
I will not even pretend to be comprehensive here. I am tired now and my typos are increasing at an astonishing pace.
Relax, dear reader, I will describe the party where Joanna invited her neighbors and friends and Jade imported Brandon, his stepson who is attending Guilford College in a beautiful location outside Greensboro near where my mother was very happy to live.
I will note that the proprietor of the equestrian center where Joanna and Jade plan to marry attended.
Pat and I discussed Joanna‘s plan to have George, Joanna‘s beloved horse, attend as a guest of honor.
Much as she would like to, Joanna cannot ride George because he is old and frail.
Joanna plans to ride side-saddle on Scarlet, the only horse ever to have thrown Joanna. Pat and I discussed the relative merits of each horse participant in Joanna and Jade’s wedding.
The Party and Wedding details have caused my dear muscle-bound future son-in-law to roll his eyes dramatically.
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[Note: Joanna has asserted the right to censor anything I write or any photograph I post and any thought I have in my mind regardless of subject. I have denied her the right to delete photos from my iPhone the instant after they are taken or remove photos from my computer. But this copy will change without notice. You can depend on that.]
This is the ramp the wonderful ground crew of United Airlines constructed and assembled for me and me alone to board the flight to Dulles airport, similar to the ramp used at Dulles Airport to get to RDU [Raleigh DUrham International Airport].
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The following is a JMS-approved photograph of the happy couple.
Jade, of course, is wearing his Tom Selleck imitation costume, but that is a story for another time, like the buying shoes story.
Jade Phillips and my only elder daughter pre-celebrate their Engagement Party on September 29th.
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More to come.
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As an aside….
I am trying not to repeat:
I hate United Airlines
I hate United Airlines
I hate United Airlines
I keep trying to figure out a way to get even with United Airlines for the shabby way the company treated me.
I would serve to make United responsive to disabled individuals, especially disabled-veterans, the elderly, and Baby Boomers whose market demands will bankrupt United Airlines if it does not get its act together.
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Thank you dear readers for your donations. Those of you who did not give relax. I got there and back, didn’t I. Let us celebrate.
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The night before I left to return to State College, Joanna came over to my hotel room where Amelia and I cooked eggplant.
Amelia Altalena, Joanna’s younger sister, was appointed Maid of Honor on Saturday night.
Amelia will be flying to London on October 18th to work as an English teacher in rural Spain. Amelia’s impending departure is the reason Joanna rushed up the ceremony. With Amelia it is easy to say here today off tomorrow for who knows where. Whooooooooooosssssssssssssssssssssss.
Joanna had worked from 5:30 in the morning to 7 PM giving pain medication to hip replacement recovery patients who were not pleased with the amount of pain they were experiencing.
Joanna just collapsed on arrival to my room.
Amelia and I shoooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwed her out of the room and into the car and home to bed before Joanna had to wake up at 5:30 the next morning for another grueling round.
August 14, 2012:Today, my elder daughter Joanna Marie Solkoff became engaged to be marriedto Jade Kosmos Phillips. Jade proposed on his knees at the mouth of a volcano in Hawaii on Joanna‘s birthday.
August 15, 2012: Jade called from Hawaii at 11:35 Eastern Daylight Savings Time. Jade asked for Joanna’s hand in marriage. I said Joanna and he would have a great marriage; he is her anchor windward. [Note 1. Watch Facebook for the formal announcement.] [Note 2. I have been on both sides now: asking and answering. Answering is better.]
August 18, 2012: Facebook notification. Joanna Solkoff is engaged to Jade K. Phillips.
Frequently asked questions:
1 When will the wedding take place? In the Fall of 3013 after Joanna graduates from nursing school.
2. Where will the wedding take place? In a horse barn in Chatham County, NC. A special guest will be Joanna‘s beloved horse George, no longer capable of enduring a rider, in attendance. The bride plans to wear a wedding gown patterned after a Ginger Rogers outfit in the film Lucky Partners. She will arrive at the ceremony riding side-saddle on Scarlet, the only horse ever to throw her off.
{Caveat lector! A shameless pitch for expenses in getting home from Joanna and Jade’s Engagement Party that still continues after the bar closed at 11 PM on September 29, 2012 at Chapel Hill NC on this link: Caveat lector!}
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[This space is reserved for biographical sketches of Joanna and Jade, photographs and additional material.]
Footnote 1: Technically there is no Footnote 1.
Footnote 2:
This is the Lucky Partners review Joanna and I published at amazon.com:
5.0 out of 5 stars My daughters and I re-enact this movie on long weekends, August 31, 2012.
“Lucky Partners” is one of a small list of ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIES. My daughters Joanna, Amelia and I have watched this movie together for decades. I think Amelia was one when she first saw it; Joanna was seven.
Joanna, now 28, just told me she plans to design her wedding gown based on an outfit Ginger Rogers wore in “Lucky Partners.”
I had thought myself capable of writing this review myself. This is an urbane romantic comedy. Joanna says it is a satire on morality within a [cell phone static] within a comedy. As the battery on her phone dies, she starts quoting from the incredibly funny and brilliant lines from “Lucky Partners.” There is, for example, the opening meeting between Ronald Coleman and Ginger Rogers.
Ronald Coleman plays the role of a brilliant artist who aristocratically refuses to continue painting in Ronald-Coleman-incredible-diction. (I will never forget Ronald Coleman, in that incredible scene just before they cut off his head in Charles Dickens’ Tale of Two Cities: “It is a far far better thing I do than I have ever ever done. It is a far far better world I go to than I have ever ever known.” [Boy, I wish I could talk like that.]
Coleman also has eccentric ideas about the institution of matrimony and honeymoons in particular (which he explains to his art dealer who is trying to convince Ronald Coleman to return to painting).
Instead, Coleman then leaves the building, walks down the street and passes the adorable [astonishingly adorable] Ginger Rogers. For no apparent reason, Ronald Coleman wishes Ginger Rogers, a total stranger, “Good luck.” “Did you just wish me luck for no apparent reason?”
As Joanna‘s cell phone dies as she drives home with her fiance Jade Kosmos Phillips, Joanna says, “Did you just wish me luck for no apparent reason?”
