Invacare Corporation (NYSE: IVC) is an American manufacturer and distributor of non-acute medical equipment including wheelchairs,mobility scooters, walkers, pressure care and positioning, as well as respiratory products.[2]Headquartered in Elyria, Ohio, the company currently distributes its product to more than 80 countries around the world.[1]
What follows is my favorite song; viz: Kasey Musgraves singing “Follow your arrow.”
The following was my post on December 28th, two days earlier.
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My fear of eviction stems from the fact that I have not been able to pay my December rent. My December 2015 rent is $900.
On the day of my spinal operation performed by Dr. Christopher J. Winfree, I logged onto to my Wells Fargo account. My deposit from Social Security had arrived. There were not substantial bites from the bank which in previous months had made substantial reductions before I received whatever was left from Social Security.
When I logged on and checked the deposit was there.
++++
What follows is the gloomy previous posting . This demonstrates my current optimism which all resolves upon money.
In the previous posting I state that I owed my landlord $450 in rent and fear for the consequences if I cannot pay. Today, the staff member in charge of Addison Court told me I owe $380. I received a generous donation by check. The check clears at Midnight. At Midnight I write a check to Addison Court for $100. At 8:30 AM when Kimberly begins work, I will go to her office and hand her a the check and my official obligation is $280.
How am I going to obtain $280? Perhaps from a $25 donation from you. Will you please help me out?
Log onto PayPal https://www.paypal.com/home
Select send. Enter my email address [email protected]
Please send me $25.
++++
badnews
On Friday, December 4th, Dr. Christopher J. Winfree inserted a test stimulator in my spine at the operating room at Columbia Medical Center in New York City.
This is a photograph of the controls to increase the intensity of vibrations to my spine. For the past 14 months I have experienced crippling pain. Here in State College PA where I live, Dr. Todd B. Cousins, widely regarded as the best pain specialist in this area, recommended that I go to New York for this surgery.
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PayPal – The safer, easier way to pay online!
In addition to using this button, you may also donate by going directly to www.paypal.com hit “Send” and enter [email protected]
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A nurse took this photograph of my back immediately after surgery. So skillfully did Dr. Winfree insert the test stimulator that on December 22nd upon examining my back, Geisginger internist Sepana Menali could find no surgical scar.
A nurse took this photograph of my back immediately after surgery. So skillfully did Dr. Winfree insert the test stimulator that on December 22nd upon examining my back, Geisginger internist Sepana Menali could find no surgical scar.
Following Dr. Winfree’s successful test, I must return to NYC for final insertion of a spinal stimulator manufactured by Medtronic, the medical device company with $28 billion in annual revenue. The stimulator’s vibrations interrupts pain signals to my brain.
Given that in October I spent three weeks in the hospital in State College recovering from an infection that nearly killed me, I rushed to NYC while I was still eligible for surgery without obtaining the necessary funds to pay for the trip.
The considerable financial crisis I am currently experiencing is a result of the conviction that the quality of my life and the improved productivity that would make it possible to earn my living (rather than depend on government assistance) was worth the risk.
Regarding the bad news/good news construction which began this posting:
The good news is:
After a difficult trip to New York City to begin the process of controlling crippling pain
After weeks of hiding from family and friends (refusing to answer the phone, read emails, and post on Facebook)
I have emerged (still afraid of being evicted from my apartment and other economic catastrophes)
To report on my progress
Ask for help
Provide an optimistic view not only of my future but that of millions of Americans who have survived cancer
[Not only did medical achievement result in my not dying of Hodgkin’s disease–cancer of the lymphatic system–but I was able to father two daughters. Indeed, in April, God willing] I will be a grandfather.
++++
Managing pain
One of the consequences of radiation treatment that saved my life from cancer is that radiation damage has caused my spine to degenerate to the point where my daily pain level averages 7.5.
Hospitals and physicians use wide variety of pain scales to understand and treat pain. Since October 2014, I have been asked to evaluate my pain level on a 1 to 10 scale such as this one. In October of this year, for example, when I was in the hospital for three weeks, I was asked at least four times a day I was asked to provide a number for my pain. Following each answer I was injected with morphine or provided with an opioid such as Oxycodene. To avoid dependency on these drugs, I turned to Dr. Winfree to help manage my intense pain without drugs.
Hospitals and physicians use wide variety of pain scales to understand and treat pain. Since October 2014, I have been asked to evaluate my pain level on a 1 to 10 scale such as this one. In October of this year, for example, when I was in the hospital for three weeks, I was asked at least four times a day to provide a number for my pain. Following each answer I was injected with morphine or provided with an opioid such as Oxycodene. To avoid dependency on these drugs, I turned to Dr. Winfree to help manage my intense pain without drugs.
++++
Another common pain measurement chart includes faces allowing patients to relate feelings with numbers.
These are the faces for the pain I average on a daily basis.
These are the faces for the pain I average on a daily basis.
Karen Lee Richards, pain patient writing for healthcentral.com does an effective job of describing the different levels of pain. Since my average daily level is 7.5, there are moments of intensity when the pain level goes off the chart. In one instance, I made the foolish decision to go to the emergency room–not a good place to be when screaming in pain.
++++
THE PAIN SCALE
0 – Pain free.
Mild Pain – Nagging, annoying, but doesn’t really interfere with daily living activities.
1 – Pain is very mild, barely noticeable. Most of the time you don’t think about it.
2 – Minor pain. Annoying and may have occasional stronger twinges.
3 – Pain is noticeable and distracting, however, you can get used to it and adapt.
Moderate Pain – Interferes significantly with daily living activities.
4 – Moderate pain. If you are deeply involved in an activity, it can be ignored for a period of time, but is still distracting.
5 – Moderately strong pain. It can’t be ignored for more than a few minutes, but with effort you still can manage to work or participate in some social activities.
6 – Moderately strong pain that interferes with normal daily activities. Difficulty concentrating.
Severe Pain – Disabling; unable to perform daily living activities.
7 – Severe pain that dominates your senses and significantly limits your ability to perform normal daily activities or maintain social relationships. Interferes with sleep.
8 – Intense pain. Physical activity is severely limited. Conversing requires great effort.
9 – Excruciating pain. Unable to converse. Crying out and/or moaning uncontrollably.
10 – Unspeakable pain. Bedridden and possibly delirious. Very few people will ever experience this level of pain.
++++
My objective is not to eliminate pain. My objective is to combine the spinal stimulator with vigorous daily activity making extensive use of physical and occupational therapists. The combination will allow me to lower my daily level to 4.5 which is manageable.
However, there are many obstacles to overcome to reach that objective. These obstacles include the American Cancer Society’s insensitivity to cancer survivors. It is time now to push the publication button before returning to this site for further clarification.
The ACS is certainly to be commended for this report it published on the number and special requirements of cancer survivors. What is now required is an understanding of the human and indeed economic productivity costs of failing to heed the significance of ACS’s own report.
“A first-ever report by the American Cancer Society – in collaboration with the National Cancer Institute – estimates there are 13.7 million cancer survivors alive in the US today, and that number will grow to almost 18 million by 2022…..
“The report was created to help draw attention to the growing number of cancer survivors in the US who have specific medical, psychological, and social needs. It also aims to raise awareness of resources that can assist patients, caregivers, and health care providers in navigating treatment and recovery from cancer.”
Specifically, my concern is the American Cancer Society’s refusal to open the doors of its Hope Lodge housing to cancer survivors. Three years ago, when I received surgery at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the ACS provided me with accommodations in short supply in NYC; namely, bedrooms with bathrooms where, as a paraplegic, I could get my scooter into and where it was possible for me to take a shower.
However, since I was not receiving chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and surgery I was denied entrance to the American Cancer Society facility. As a cancer survivor trying to improve the quality of my life from problems caused by cancer treatment, I was turned away.
Therefore, on visits to New York City’s Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center with oncologists, the ACS turned me away. When ACS oncologists recommended that I receive treatment from Dr. Winfree for the cancer-caused pain, I was turned away again and found myself unable to get into the bathroom without crawling and facing the indignity of being unable to shower for weeks. The following raw footage reflects my sense that something must be done to stop punishing cancer patients for living.
Finally, at least for today, I will end with an email I received from an architecture friend in China who with her 12 year-old daugter celebrated Thanksgiving with me last year in State College:
Jane
I was delighted to hear from you.Yesterday did not seem like Thanksgiving with you and Kelly. Last year, Kelly and her friends played on the drum set. The neighborhood is still resounding at the sound.
Here is an explanation on my current situation. https://joelsolkoff.com/in-a-rush-to-eliminate-cancer-pain-my-surgeon-begins-the-operation-nov-30th/
I am in New York City now. I am in the apartment of a friend of my mother’s rabbi. My entire world here in the apartment is astonishingly primitive. My scooter–a poorly designed travel scooter–is too wide for the bathroom door. To go to the bathroom I must crawl.
Three things comfort me. 1. I will redesign travel scooters, 2. I will redesign communities so the entrance to each bathroom will be wheel chair accessible. 3. I meet the surgeon who will begin the process of drastically reducing my pain.
I have started giving seminars. Chimay suggested I lecture on proper English usage and Zotero. I will continue the seminar series after I return from New York.
It has been nearly 32 years since I last was in China. I miss China. Also, of course, I miss you and Kelly.
Note: I profiled Jane, the English name Ming Zhao prefers to use, in my column for e-architect, U.K. http://www.e-architect.co.uk/columns/belt-and-suspenders-routine
Jane and her daughter Kelly at my apartment in State College PA Thanksgiving 2014 where we followed an earlier holiday tradition of having a three-drum and cymbals set whose noise reverberated through the neighborhood. The drums, bathroom, and indeed the entire apartment is wheel chair accessible. May universal design prevail even in The Bronx, my birthplace.
Jane and her daughter Kelly at my apartment in State College PA Thanksgiving 2014 where we followed an earlier holiday tradition of having a three-drum and cymbals set whose noise reverberated through the neighborhood. The drums, bathroom, and indeed the entire apartment is wheel chair accessible. May universal design prevail even in The Bronx, my birthplace.
James Branch Cabell (/ˈkæbəl/; April 14, 1879 – May 5, 1958) was an American author of fantasy fiction and belles lettres. Cabell was well regarded by his contemporaries, includingH. L. Mencken, Edmund Wilson, and Sinclair Lewis. His works were considered escapist and fit well in the culture of the 1920s, when they were most popular. For Cabell, veracity was “the one unpardonable sin, not merely against art, but against human welfare.”[1]
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Page one of the novel Jurgen.
Frank C. Pape, Cabell’s principal illustrator
Illustration in James Branch Cabell’s “The Silver Stalion”
Quotes James Branch Cabell
No lady is ever a gentleman.
People marry for a variety of reasons and with varying results. But to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy.
There is not any memory with less satisfaction than the memory of some temptation we resisted.
On Friday, December 4th, Dr. Christopher J. Winfree inserted a test stimulator in my spine at Columbia Medical Center in New York City. This is a photograph of the controls which made it possible for me to control the intensity of vibrations in my spine thus reducing the pain level.
My fear of eviction
stems from the fact that I have not been able to pay my December rent. My December 2015 rent is $900.
On the day of my spinal operation performed by Dr. Christopher J. Winfree, I logged onto to my Wells Fargo account. My deposit from Social Security had arrived. There were not substantial bites from the bank which in previous months had made substantial reductions before I received whatever was left from Social Security.
When I logged on and checked the deposit was there.
++++
What follows is the gloomy previous posting . This demonstrates my current optimism which all resolves upon money.
In the previous posting I state that I owed my landlord $450 in rent and fear for the consequences if I cannot pay. Today, the staff member in charge of Addison Court told me I owe $380. I received a generous donation by check. The check clears at Midnight. At Midnight I write a check to Addison Court for $100. At 8:30 AM when Kimberly begins work, I will go to her office and hand her a the check and my official obligation is $280.
How am I going to obtain $280? Perhaps from a $25 donation from you. Will you please help me out?
On Friday, December 4th, Dr. Christopher J. Winfree inserted a test stimulator in my spine at the operating room at Columbia Medical Center in New York City.
This is a photograph of the controls to increase the intensity of vibrations to my spine. For the past 14 months I have experienced crippling pain. Here in State College PA where I live, Dr. Todd B. Cousins, widely regarded as the best pain specialist in this area, recommended that I go to New York for this surgery.
++++
Regarding the bad news/good news construction which began this posting:
The good news is:
After a difficult trip to New York City to begin the process of controlling crippling pain
After weeks of hiding from family and friends (refusing to answer the phone, read emails, and post on Facebook)
I have emerged (still afraid of being evicted from my apartment and other economic catastrophes)
To report on my progress
Ask for help
Provide an optimistic view not only of my future but that of millions of Americans who have survived cancer
[Not only did medical achievement result in my not dying of Hodgkin’s disease–cancer of the lymphatic system–but I was able to father two daughters. Indeed, in April, God willing] I will be a grandfather.
++++
Managing pain
One of the consequences of radiation treatment that saved my life from cancer is that radiation damage has caused my spine to degenerate to the point where my daily pain level averages 7.5.
Hospitals and physicians use wide variety of pain scales to understand and treat pain. Since October 2014, I have been asked to evaluate my pain level on a 1 to 10 scale such as this one. In October of this year, for example, when I was in the hospital for three weeks, I was asked at least four times a day to provide a number for my pain. Following each answer I was injected with morphine or provided with an opioid such as Oxycodene. To avoid dependency on these drugs, I turned to Dr. Winfree to help manage my intense pain without drugs.
++++
Another common pain measurement chart includes faces allowing patients to relate feelings with numbers.
These are the faces for the pain I average on a daily basis.
Karen Lee Richards, pain patient writing for healthcentral.com does an effective job of describing the different levels of pain. Since my average daily level is 7.5, there are moments of intensity when the pain level goes off the chart. In one instance, I made the foolish decision to go to the emergency room–not a good place to be when screaming in pain.
++++
THE PAIN SCALE
0 – Pain free.
Mild Pain – Nagging, annoying, but doesn’t really interfere with daily living activities.
1 – Pain is very mild, barely noticeable. Most of the time you don’t think about it.
2 – Minor pain. Annoying and may have occasional stronger twinges.
3 – Pain is noticeable and distracting, however, you can get used to it and adapt.
Moderate Pain – Interferes significantly with daily living activities.
4 – Moderate pain. If you are deeply involved in an activity, it can be ignored for a period of time, but is still distracting.
5 – Moderately strong pain. It can’t be ignored for more than a few minutes, but with effort you still can manage to work or participate in some social activities.
6 – Moderately strong pain that interferes with normal daily activities. Difficulty concentrating.
Severe Pain – Disabling; unable to perform daily living activities.
7 – Severe pain that dominates your senses and significantly limits your ability to perform normal daily activities or maintain social relationships. Interferes with sleep.
8 – Intense pain. Physical activity is severely limited. Conversing requires great effort.
9 – Excruciating pain. Unable to converse. Crying out and/or moaning uncontrollably.
10 – Unspeakable pain. Bedridden and possibly delirious. Very few people will ever experience this level of pain.
++++
My objective is not to eliminate pain. My objective is to combine the spinal stimulator with vigorous daily activity making extensive use of physical and occupational therapists. The combination will allow me to lower my daily level to 4.5 which is manageable.
However, there are many obstacles to overcome to reach that objective. These obstacles include the American Cancer Society’s insensitivity to cancer survivors. It is time now to push the publication button before returning to this site for further clarification.
The ACS is certainly to be commended for this report it published on the number and special requirements of cancer survivors. What is now required is an understanding of the human and indeed economic productivity costs of failing to heed the significance of ACS’s own report.
“The report was created to help draw attention to the growing number of cancer survivors in the US who have specific medical, psychological, and social needs. It also aims to raise awareness of resources that can assist patients, caregivers, and health care providers in navigating treatment and recovery from cancer.”
Specifically, my concern is the American Cancer Society’s refusal to open the doors of its Hope Lodge housing to cancer survivors. Three years ago, when I received surgery at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the ACS provided me with accommodations in short supply in NYC; namely, bedrooms with bathrooms where, as a paraplegic, I could get my scooter into and where it was possible for me to take a shower.
However, since I was not receiving chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and surgery I was denied entrance to the American Cancer Society facility. As a cancer survivor trying to improve the quality of my life from problems caused by cancer treatment, I was turned away.
Therefore, on visits to New York City’s Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center with oncologists, the ACS turned me away. When ACS oncologists recommended that I receive treatment from Dr. Winfree for the cancer-caused pain, I was turned away again and found myself unable to get into the bathroom without crawling and facing the indignity of being unable to shower for weeks. The following raw footage reflects my sense that something must be done to stop punishing cancer patients for living.
Finally, at least for today, I will end with an email I received from an architecture friend in China who with her 12 year-old daugter celebrated Thanksgiving with me last year in State College:
Jane
I was delighted to hear from you.Yesterday did not seem like Thanksgiving with you and Kelly. Last year, Kelly and her friends played on the drum set. The neighborhood is still resounding at the sound.
Here is an explanation on my current situation. https://joelsolkoff.com/in-a-rush-to-eliminate-cancer-pain-my-surgeon-begins-the-operation-nov-30th/
I am in New York City now. I am in the apartment of a friend of my mother’s rabbi. My entire world here in the apartment is astonishingly primitive. My scooter–a poorly designed travel scooter–is too wide for the bathroom door. To go to the bathroom I must crawl.
Three things comfort me. 1. I will redesign travel scooters, 2. I will redesign communities so the entrance to each bathroom will be wheel chair accessible. 3. I meet the surgeon who will begin the process of drastically reducing my pain.
I have started giving seminars. Chimay suggested I lecture on proper English usage and Zotero. I will continue the seminar series after I return from New York.
It has been nearly 32 years since I last was in China. I miss China. Also, of course, I miss you and Kelly.
Jane and her daughter Kelly at my apartment in State College PA Thanksgiving 2014 where we followed an earlier holiday tradition of having a three-drum and cymbals set whose noise reverberated through the neighborhood. The drums, bathroom, and indeed the entire apartment is wheel chair accessible. May universal design prevail even in The Bronx, my birthplace.
On Friday, December 4th, Dr. Christopher J. Winfree inserted a test stimulator in my spine at Columbia Medical Center in New York City. This is a photograph of the controls which made it possible for me to control the intensity of vibrations in my spine thus reducing the pain level.
On Friday, December 4th, Dr. Christopher J. Winfree inserted a test stimulator in my spine at the operating room at Columbia Medical Center in New York City.
This is a photograph of the controls to increase the intensity of vibrations to my spine. For the past 14 months I have experienced crippling pain. Here in State College PA where I live, Dr. Todd B. Cousins, widely regarded as the best pain specialist in this area, recommended that I go to New York for this surgery.
++++
Regarding the bad news/good news construction which began this posting:
The good news is:
After a difficult trip to New York City to begin the process of controlling crippling pain
After weeks of hiding from family and friends (refusing to answer the phone, read emails, and post on Facebook)
I have emerged (still afraid of being evicted from my apartment and other economic catastrophes)
To report on my progress
Ask for help
Provide an optimistic view not only of my future but that of millions of Americans who have survived cancer
[Not only did medical achievement result in my not dying of Hodgkin’s disease–cancer of the lymphatic system–but I was able to father two daughters. Indeed, in April, God willing] I will be a grandfather.
++++
Managing pain
One of the consequences of radiation treatment that saved my life from cancer is that radiation damage has caused my spine to degenerate to the point where my daily pain level averages 7.5.
Hospitals and physicians use wide variety of pain scales to understand and treat pain. Since October 2014, I have been asked to evaluate my pain level on a 1 to 10 scale such as this one. In October of this year, for example, when I was in the hospital for three weeks, I was asked at least four times a day to provide a number for my pain. Following each answer I was injected with morphine or provided with an opioid such as Oxycodene. To avoid dependency on these drugs, I turned to Dr. Winfree to help manage my intense pain without drugs.
++++
Another common pain measurement chart includes faces allowing patients to relate feelings with numbers.
These are the faces for the pain I average on a daily basis.
Karen Lee Richards, pain patient writing for healthcentral.com does an effective job of describing the different levels of pain. Since my average daily level is 7.5, there are moments of intensity when the pain level goes off the chart. In one instance, I made the foolish decision to go to the emergency room–not a good place to be when screaming in pain.
++++
THE PAIN SCALE
0 – Pain free.
Mild Pain – Nagging, annoying, but doesn’t really interfere with daily living activities.
1 – Pain is very mild, barely noticeable. Most of the time you don’t think about it.
2 – Minor pain. Annoying and may have occasional stronger twinges.
3 – Pain is noticeable and distracting, however, you can get used to it and adapt.
Moderate Pain – Interferes significantly with daily living activities.
4 – Moderate pain. If you are deeply involved in an activity, it can be ignored for a period of time, but is still distracting.
5 – Moderately strong pain. It can’t be ignored for more than a few minutes, but with effort you still can manage to work or participate in some social activities.
6 – Moderately strong pain that interferes with normal daily activities. Difficulty concentrating.
Severe Pain – Disabling; unable to perform daily living activities.
7 – Severe pain that dominates your senses and significantly limits your ability to perform normal daily activities or maintain social relationships. Interferes with sleep.
8 – Intense pain. Physical activity is severely limited. Conversing requires great effort.
9 – Excruciating pain. Unable to converse. Crying out and/or moaning uncontrollably.
10 – Unspeakable pain. Bedridden and possibly delirious. Very few people will ever experience this level of pain.
++++
My objective is not to eliminate pain. My objective is to combine the spinal stimulator with vigorous daily activity making extensive use of physical and occupational therapists. The combination will allow me to lower my daily level to 4.5 which is manageable.
However, there are many obstacles to overcome to reach that objective. These obstacles include the American Cancer Society’s insensitivity to cancer survivors. It is time now to push the publication button before returning to this site for further clarification.
The ACS is certainly to be commended for this report it published on the number and special requirements of cancer survivors. What is now required is an understanding of the human and indeed economic productivity costs of failing to heed the significance of ACS’s own report.
“The report was created to help draw attention to the growing number of cancer survivors in the US who have specific medical, psychological, and social needs. It also aims to raise awareness of resources that can assist patients, caregivers, and health care providers in navigating treatment and recovery from cancer.”
Specifically, my concern is the American Cancer Society’s refusal to open the doors of its Hope Lodge housing to cancer survivors. Three years ago, when I received surgery at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the ACS provided me with accommodations in short supply in NYC; namely, bedrooms with bathrooms where, as a paraplegic, I could get my scooter into and where it was possible for me to take a shower.
However, since I was not receiving chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and surgery I was denied entrance to the American Cancer Society facility. As a cancer survivor trying to improve the quality of my life from problems caused by cancer treatment, I was turned away.
Therefore, on visits to New York City’s Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center with oncologists, the ACS turned me away. When ACS oncologists recommended that I receive treatment from Dr. Winfree for the cancer-caused pain, I was turned away again and found myself unable to get into the bathroom without crawling and facing the indignity of being unable to shower for weeks. The following raw footage reflects my sense that something must be done to stop punishing cancer patients for living.
Finally, at least for today, I will end with an email I received from an architecture friend in China who with her 12 year-old daugter celebrated Thanksgiving with me last year in State College:
Jane
I was delighted to hear from you.Yesterday did not seem like Thanksgiving with you and Kelly. Last year, Kelly and her friends played on the drum set. The neighborhood is still resounding at the sound.
Here is an explanation on my current situation. https://joelsolkoff.com/in-a-rush-to-eliminate-cancer-pain-my-surgeon-begins-the-operation-nov-30th/
I am in New York City now. I am in the apartment of a friend of my mother’s rabbi. My entire world here in the apartment is astonishingly primitive. My scooter–a poorly designed travel scooter–is too wide for the bathroom door. To go to the bathroom I must crawl.
Three things comfort me. 1. I will redesign travel scooters, 2. I will redesign communities so the entrance to each bathroom will be wheel chair accessible. 3. I meet the surgeon who will begin the process of drastically reducing my pain.
I have started giving seminars. Chimay suggested I lecture on proper English usage and Zotero. I will continue the seminar series after I return from New York.
It has been nearly 32 years since I last was in China. I miss China. Also, of course, I miss you and Kelly.
Jane and her daughter Kelly at my apartment in State College PA Thanksgiving 2014 where we followed an earlier holiday tradition of having a three-drum and cymbals set whose noise reverberated through the neighborhood. The drums, bathroom, and indeed the entire apartment is wheel chair accessible. May universal design prevail even in The Bronx, my birthplace.
Tomorrow, at 7 AM I report to Columbia Medical Center for surgery. The Columbia social worker called an hour ago with instructions. No food nor liquid after midnight.
Eleven hours and 56 minutes no food nor drink.
This is my last meal.
Left back row to right:
Pita goes with Spanish eggplant (superb) far right. [Brackets are reserved for price. How much is the eggplant? I do not know. The eggplant is a side that goes with $15.95 Middle Eastern combination platter (which I did not order)].
Behind the coffee [$2.50] is Cole slaw–a side with chopped chicken liver on the deli rye platter [$12.95] last row behind the pickles. [Pickles come with platter.]
My waiter Huseyn Depe is wondering whether I have room for dessert. I am wondering too at Liebman’s Restaurant 525 West 235th Street, Riverdale, NY
Barely visible empty cup Kasha soup [$3.95]
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I am badly in need of contributions. Please use PayPal
The Jewish mystical number 18 would make an excellent minimum contribution. Come Sunday morning when I have the hospital stay behind me and ahead of me a Tuesday return to Maryellen Hiran and her removal of the probe ( thus freeing me to return home to State College), an $18 breakfast would be great.
++++
Out of order, this photo shows my bedside view of the work ahead of me visible and not yet visible. Directly below, I continue to describe eating. Since that description, I scooted to my host’s apartment where she encouraged me with words of faith. Now I am trying to hold onto this optimism while shaving, setting the alarm, and preparing to take a bus to 168th Street.
Right now, Iam binging before midnight. I am afraid. I am not afraid of the first step in insertion of the spinal stimulator. When I return, I will discuss my fear and why I should not have it.
++++
Yes, I have spent a lot in this last meal. It is some be-sparing-of-limited-resources compensation that I will not be eating breakfast when I arrive at the hospital at 7 AM. Nor, after Dr. Winfree inserts the test probe (after I am under general anesthesia) will I be hungry for lunch.
The hospital is aware that I will be checking in without an adult [clearly I should be accompanied by an adult at all times]. Consequently, the hospital has made arrangements for me to spend the night.
Fear, pain, pain relief, productivity
My principal fear is something will interfere with the scheduled surgical procedure. For over a year I have been trying to have a spinal stimulator help me in my efforts to reduce debilitating pain.
Last summer, my physicians at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center recommended I see Dr. Winfree. Two months later I found myself on a New York City subway getting off at 168th Street for my initial appointment. Sadly, the subway elevator did not work. Several subway and bus rides later, I arrived two hours after the appointment.
Now, after breaking my right ankle and after being hospitalized for weeks because of a near deadly infection, I am back again seeking help for pain afraid of hope unwilling not to persevere for hope–recognizing less pain will make me more productive.